firebranding | (no subject)

It’s no inconvenience, A-Ling.

[He lets Jin Ling in, smiling slightly. It IS a little bit of one—children really did have the worst timing imaginable, didn’t they?—but he’s not going to complain about being able to see Jin Ling more.

There’s no way for him to express that he wishes Jin Ling would come to him more often in a way that wouldn’t seem pressuring or anything, so he simply tries to make sure Jin Ling knows he can. It’s different here, after all, without the sect or prying eyes to make sure everything Guangyao does is with the utmost grace and decorum. He could certainly be different here—better. For Jin Ling’s sake and his own.

The questions still make him concerned though. Why did Jin Ling seem to expect him to be anything but fine?

Instead he spreads his arms and looks at him in amusement.] See for yourself. [He’s even got both arms!!] I’m not harmed at all.

[He lowers his arms again and just looks at Jin Ling for a moment, his talk with Xichen (the real one) still hovering in the back of his mind, and he speaks up softly.]

I’m glad you came to see me. We don’t often get the chance to spend time together anymore.

[ For a second he thinks the spread arms are an invitation for a hug, and his arms twitch at his sides as he nearly goes for it, before he remembers his place and stops himself.

He had the decency to look embarrassed at what he took as gentle chastisement for his lack of filial piety. ]

You can see me whenever you want. [ A little mumbled. ]

Everyone just- seems to have other things on their minds, here.

[ A pause, before he swallows. ]

I’ll come visit more often, I promise.

[Guangyao hasn’t gotten as far as he has without being able to read people like books. He notices the way Jin Ling starts, the way he holds himself back. It’s impressive, a little, but then Jin Ling’s always been on a little better behavior around him.

He’s felt rather pleased and smug about that before with how unruly Jiang Cheng could complain about Jin Ling being, but now he wonders if it’s really so much of a good thing. When was the last time he’s given Jin Ling a hug? He’s sure there must be other times, but the ones that stick out in his head are the ones he’d likely given on the anniversary of Rusong’s death and his birthdays, and Jin Ling’s birthdays as well because Jin Ling was the closet thing to a son he’d had and when had something as simple as a hug been like spoiling him?]

There is certainly a lot happening around here. [He feels weary as he says that, because likely, hopefully, Jin Ling has absolutely no idea how deep that rabbit hole goes.]

But Jin Ling, it will never be a bother for me to spend time with you. [Well. You know. Within reason.

He steps forward then and reaches out to pet his hair, smoothing it back before he gently tugs at Jin Ling’s shoulder to pull him in, urge him to complete the hug he’d held himself back on earlier.]

We’re family. I love you, A-Ling, and nothing will change that. This world might be strange, but it gives us more freedom in many ways and I will try to remember that too.

[ At least the antlers are gone now, as he bows his head a little to allow for the affectionate gesture. As soon as Jin Guangyao moves to pull him in, Jin Ling takes it - wrapping his arms around his uncle and squeezing tight. ]

I love you too.

[ Muttered lowly into his uncle’s shoulder. ]

You’d tell me if something happened, right? If something was wrong? I can help too, you know. I won’t let anything happen to you.

[He freezes, surprised and taken aback by the way Jin Ling asks about it. Honestly, he’s a little impressed. It wasn’t like Jin Ling to go the subtle way about things, and it all manages to twist the knife in his heart a little more.

His embrace tightens a little and he presses a kiss to Jin Ling’s hairline, closing his eyes.]

There are things I’m keeping from you, Jin Ling. [He doesn’t know if it helps or not for him to be admitting it out loud, but he hopes Jin Ling is growing a little more and won’t explode on him for this.]

But it’s not because I don’t think you can handle the truth or because I think you too young or any of those kinds of worries. [He rests his cheek against Jin Ling’s head for a moment and closes his eyes, taking a breath.]

It’s because I’m not ready to talk about it just yet. I’m the one not strong enough, but... [He pulls away now, just enough so he can look at his nephew. Ah, when had he grown so tall? It wouldn’t be long before he too was towering over Guangyao.] But I will tell you, Jin Ling. I’ll tell you everything, I promise. Just... give me a little more time? Be patient with your poor uncle.

Edited 2020-02-19 18:34 (UTC)

[ He let his uncle pull back somewhat reluctantly, his face set in a concerned frown.

He wanted to argue. To say that his uncle could tell him anything, that he could take it. But he thought he knew what the secret was. He thought what Jin Guangyao was being secretive about was his own death. He had no concept beyond that.

He wanted to know, badly, but he couldn’t ask his uncle about his own death. Couldn’t ask him to relive it. So he grit his teeth. ]

You can tell me whenever you’re ready. Until then - if I can help, I’ll do it. I don’t need to know why it helps, just - you can rely on me, okay? I know I can’t do as much as the whole Sect could, but I can do a lot!

[He smiles, feeling truly and deeply touched by this show of filial piety he doesn’t feel he’s rightly earned. He doesn’t know what has Jin Ling so shaken, but he knows it mustn’t be the whole truth of what’s happened after Jin Ling’s current memories or else he suspects Jin Ling wouldn’t be quite this cuddly.

He smooths back some of Jin Ling’s hair.] Mm, I know. We’re all that remains of Jin Sect right now—Us and your father. [Father...s... but that’s getting into weird territory.] We’re family. I trust you and know I can count on you. And it’s the same for you.

Back home I... was often too busy, I think, to give you as much of the attention as you deserved. But I’ll do better here. I promise. I’ll be better.

[ His eyebrows furrow a little and his gaze drops. ]

You haven't done me any wrong, [ He points out. ] You've always been a good uncle.

[ Sure, more distant than Jiang Cheng, but that was to be expected, wasn't it? Jin Guangyao had a wife. Had a son, before he died. He had a separate family and separate worries. Jiang Cheng only had him. It made sense. ]

You don't have to promise to be better.

[He pulls Jin Ling back into a hug, a bit fiercer than the last. He presses his cheek to his hair and closes his eyes, remembering a time when Jin Ling fit so easily in his arms, he could carry him around and only worry about the babe teething at his hat strings and yanking at his hair. He didn’t think he’d miss such times, but he truly did like children. If things with Qin Su hadn’t been—what they were, he might’ve had more. More playmates for Jin Ling, more babbling baby talk to distract himself with when the real world of politics and careful words and flattery became a bit too bothersome.]

But I will be more available now. I have no more pressing sect matters to deal with here, after all. Just my wayward family. [He laughs and presses his lips to Jin Ling’s hairline once more, before he loosens his grip to allow Jin Ling to pull away should he want to.] Will you be staying the night too? It’s getting rather late.