I do not think it selfish, [ softly, ] not if you consider what he has lost and what he needs.

As to what he wants... it may be difficult for him to be able to even understand what that is, let alone express it. But you and Jiang Wanyin have been the two things in his life that meant that everything was all right, and he already is rebuilding the relationship with him because of the circumstances of this place.

I may be wrong, but it seems that he would want to not love someone he is terrified of. Disappearing from his life would be one way to achieve that. Becoming someone he isn't afraid of, once again, would be another.